Mumbai: All set to make you swoon with her stunning looks on our February cover is Vidya Balan. With films like the recent N.T.R. biopic, NTR Kathanayakudu, the Shakuntala Devi biopic, Mission Mangal and more in her kitty, Vidya always manages to prove that she’s a director’s favourite. In her latest conversation with Filmfare, she freely admits that nothing is more attractive than a woman who loves herself.
Recently, she received much appreciation for her impressive performance as Basavatarakam in N.T.R. Kathanayakudu. But few would know that when she started her career down South, the actress was tagged as ‘bad luck’.Opening up on dealing with that, Vidya told Filmfare, “It angers you to be told that you’re unlucky. Or that you aren’t good enough. During Begum Jaan, I harnessed all the anger I felt for all these years. I was carrying the anger of rejection, the judgement around my body, the criticism around my dressing. I’ve been called ‘jinxed’ down South. I rejected my body all my life. I worked hard at accepting myself. That acceptance isn’t complete yet. It’s still a long way. People don’t understand that when you grow up a fat girl, it doesn’t leave you.”
She further added, “I’ve had hormonal problems all my life. It’s probably because of the judgement I’ve carried around my body. When I was a teenager, people would tell me, ‘You’ve got such a pretty face, why don’t you lose some weight?’ It’s not a nice thing to say to anyone. Be it a child or a grown-up. So, I’d starve myself, I’d go through crazy exercise regimens and lose weight. Then the hormonal issue would settle for a bit before it reared its head again. I guess it was my body’s way of revolting because in wanting it to be what it was not, I was constantly rejecting it. There’s no machine as smart as your body. It’s the only machine that has emotional intelligence. So even at my thinnest, I’ve always felt fat. Weight loss, weight gain, weight loss, weight gain was my pattern for as long as I can remember. Years ago, I stopped watching my shots on the monitor at shoots because I’d look at the monitor and be thinking, ‘Am I looking fat?”
Clearly not giving a damn about what the world thinks or believes, Vidya’s confidence and love for herself has brought her a long way. All we can say is, more power to you, Vidya!